The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 162 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, unlimited-speed roads, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.735 billion Second Best Puppet 162ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 162ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,040 trillion cards a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 154,546 cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government prefers to kill off its enemies by peaceful means, the Super-Spud Cinematic Universe is breaking box office records, senior literature classes are left analysing why Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm is so darn sunny, and religious bigotry and a fear of outsiders have replaced religious studies in schools. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 162's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 162 is ranked 277,731^st in the world and 2,060^th in Two for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 32.2 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.